Are people questioning your choice to stay in bed all day today? Those bastards. Here is a list of 10 ready-made
excusesreasons to use to ward off their pesky intrusions into your bed time paradise.
- It’s cold out there. Or maybe it’s hot. My point is: The temperature here in bed is a known quantity. You think I’ll expose my body to extreme temperature fluctuations just because I have this vague idea of “accomplishing something today” or “preserving my dignity”?
- Because, science matters, ok?
- I am writing a book of haiku titled “Pillow Feelings.”
- Matisse painted from bed. Sure, he was like 90 and infirm, but maybe I have the gift. Now, where are my 6-foot paintbrushes?
- I’m playing the “Floor’s Made of Lava!” game, and my protective footwear/throw pillows are in the other room. Now I need to gather my energy to make the treacherous leap from the bed to the top of my dresser.
- Pre-emptive sick day. Why wait for the flu to come to me? I’ll just head it off with a day in bed before I begin to show symptoms.
- I’m wearing in a new bed. These things take time. The guy at the bed store told me.
- Beauty rest is a priority in my life. You’re welcome for all of this beauty.
- Weather report reads “Chance of Rain.” Can I really live with that level of uncertainty?
- I’m watching the seductive 70s WGBH logo appear on an endless loop, and am mesmerized into submission.