A Seemingly Endless Loop of Stupid

melted-popsicleI wanted to write something brilliant and profound this weekend, but the heat and humidity in Boston was prohibitive. On Saturday, my apartment was 90 degrees Fahrenheit with a humidity of Oh-Who-Cares-Anyway? It was one of those days that meteorologist Dick Albert used to refer to as “a case of the muggies.” It’s a slow disaster. You envision tossing your less-than-useless warm-blooded body into the harbor, but that would take effort, so you just eat popsicles and watch the veins in your arms swell like firehoses.

I escaped for a couple of hours to a café to write. The place was packed tight with other heat refugees and their smells. I scored a small table, but was wedged between two couples. The couple on my left did not speak, but smiled into each other’s loving gazes as they entwined and then re-entwined their fingers endlessly. Endlessly. From the edge of my vision, I was witness to a good 45 minutes of finger entwinement. It was the manual equivalent of the “I love you more”/”No, I love you more” argument spun into an infinite, real-time, looping gif that can’t be closed, ever.


 What do you do with that? There’s no law against being an insufferably adorable couple, apparently.

Well, you could turn and be distracted by the couple to the right. The guy was seated right next to me. I couldn’t catch a glance without being very obvious about it, so I can’t comment on him except to say that he had a tall-guy voice, and that he seemed to let the woman do the talking. And the woman – who was seated across from me, was talking non-stop, seemingly about the guy’s troubled relationship – with someone else.

Again – what can you do? As far as I know, I do not have the right to stand and condemn this blatantly obvious manipulation/seduction/ego-twaddling that was happening within arm’s length. I just know that when she twisted her hair around a finger and said “You know, you can definitely stay at my place for as long as you need to – to… clear your head,” that was my cue to knock back my latte and leg it out of there.

Back into the sweaty, hive-like busy streets of Back Bay. I bought new living room drapes. Then I went home, put the drapes up, took another shower, had a popsicle, watched the drapes drape. Because that’s all I had in me.

7 thoughts on “A Seemingly Endless Loop of Stupid

  1. Angela Leese

    Ugh, yeah, I feel you. I survived four summers in LA with only one of those little portable AC units. And I was in school, so I constantly had to find places I could plug in a laptop, get online, and now want to punch out the lights of the people sitting nearby. I really have no idea how I ever managed to focus.

    (Got here via the WP Community pool and have subscribed.)

  2. annieemmy

    Um… first of all… the twiddling fingers couple? I would have punched them both in the face. I’ve never understood how people can just stare into each other’s eyes, lost in each other’s company. Really? Don’t they get bored? Are they replaying the last season of “Mad Men” in their heads or what? Because otherwise… I just don’t get it. The girl hitting on the guy? I would have punched her in the face too. And then thrown a Bible at her as she struggled to get up off the floor. No words. Just punch and throw. UGH… people are annoying. I need a nap. Maybe some food. But mainly a nap.

    1. notesfromthebathroomfloor Post author

      Yeah, I don’t get the finger-twiddling. It was just relentless.

      As for the couple to the right: I don’t generally travel with a bible, so that was out. Also, I’ll be damned if I become part of their story of dangerous love. I’d rather roast in the streets. 🙂

  3. Pingback: 50 Ways To Give The Finger – #10: The Valentine Finger | NOTES FROM THE BATHROOM FLOOR

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