When preparing to enter the dating world, it is important to know what you are looking for, and –perhaps more importantly — what you hope to avoid. There are obvious traits that everyone should try to avoid (Pathological liars, violent drug abusers, racists and video-game addicts come to mind).
But I have an additional list of rules for a prospective partner. These are the identifying traits of men with whom I know I will not get along. It’s not meant to offend anyone — We’re each of us special, unique snowflakes with different tastes. But, still: some of the snowflakes are not for me, and it’s better to know that ahead of time. Right?
My No List:
- No pants with sandals. Never, ever should this be worn by any person of any gender in any location.
- No self-identifying as a Republican. Trust me, you won’t like me either.
- No fitting in my skinny jeans, comfortably.
- No weird affectations like a pocket watch, bowtie, or Dr. Who scarf.
- No country music fans. No offense, just not my taste. (Only exceptions: Loving Dolly Parton and having an ironic appreciation for Kenny Rogers are both ok.)
- No medieval faire participants (Prithee, stay thee away from me.)
- No loafers with tassels. Just looking at these horrible footwear choices makes my lady parts close up with a clang like a jail cell door.
- No whale belts or salmon culottes or boat shoes. If you own any nautical Beacon Hill Wasp Wear – just, no.
- No Blair, Blain, Brick, Crock , Flick or any similarly-horrible one-syllable name (unless you have the sense to go by a nickname).
- No dissing my car. Respect the classic Camry and it’s many quirks, or move on. Love me, love my car.
What’s on your No List? I’m curious to hear any items from your personal that you’d like to share.