Winter Solstice: Celebrate Another Year of Not Going Postal (Yet)

It’s the day after the winter solstice, which — if you’re anything like me —traditionally represents the height of your winter madness and the rock-bottom of your deeply-dug “I-Hate-People” hole.

But I feel pretty ok. And it’s not because something particularly glittery or exciting has occurred in my life. Life keeps pooping along like it always does. And I’m not feeling joyous or running through the streets of Boston throwing tinsel and anything that can be tinseled. I’m still anti-tinsel. It’s not holiday mania, in other words. But I feel ok, and that is kind of remarkable.

For the last few years, I have faked my way through the holidays like a champ. I was still working on getting myself settled and divorced and yes, probably hoping that by the next Christmas my cup would run over with joy. And now I’m here. My cup runneth over with “just ok.” Or maybe my cup just runneth not with misery. My cup is legitimately fine, thank you.

Enough about my cup.

This perfect little illustration describes how I feel right now (Not mine, but borrowed from Hyperbole and a Half — a wonderful blog that I can’t recommend enough).

hyperboleandahalf

I’m feeling empowered by my state in life. Which is weird because I don’t have a lot of the stuff I’m “supposed” to have locked in. (relationship, mortgage, kids, clear sense of exactly what the rest of my life will look like, an unbroken door handle on my car, etc.) I feel like I either:

A. Accidentally stumbled upon the secret to happiness, which is to fail at life and figure out what you want.; or

B. Hit my head and am in a drug-induced coma, so none of this is actually real.

Either way, I’m just going with it. Next week, life will probably kick my ass just for being so damned cocky.

How are you all? Doing ok? 

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6 thoughts on “Winter Solstice: Celebrate Another Year of Not Going Postal (Yet)

  1. estelea

    In extrovert language, this would translate as yiiiihaaaa, off I am to new adventures !!!! 😉 keep it up, all the very very best for the new year! You already paved the way for an inspiring one, can’t wait reading your new posts

    Reply
  2. movingliquid

    Is what you’re experiencing considered “meh”? If so, that’s not a bad place to be. I prefer to feel meh-ish rather than all pumped up and excited about life because I know the high won’t last. Is that me being pessimistic? No, I don’t think so. Not if I enjoy meh.

    Reply
    1. notesfromthebathroomfloor Post author

      Maybe it’s the same thing as meh. I guess I’m not sure.

      Mostly, I feel like I’m past the hardest part, and I can actually measure my progress now against years past. It’s like a little kid growing slowly, and you don’t notice it until you look at pictures of him from last year. I can see that I’m doing better.

      I agree with you that the manufactured, pumped-up excitement thing is for the birds. Peace, contentment, and working on things I enjoy. That’s what I’m aiming for right now. 🙂

      Reply
  3. vickiewhat

    Im so happy to find your blog, and glad you’re off the floor and feeling meh-tter. I read a few of your posts and am already enjoying your honesty and writing style. Looking forward to reading more. Please stop by my blog to see why I’m so glad to find you. In fact, a wonderful friend, mamalisa4.wordpress.com texted me tonight to tell me that I just ‘had’ to check out your site. Cheers 🍷

    Reply

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