Tag Archives: fuckity

50 Ways to Give the Finger: #4 – The Mental Finger

IMG_0330The Mental Finger

On the Kung Fu television series, Master Kan advised Caine, his young student, that “Weakness prevails over strength. Gentleness conquers. Become the calm and restful breeze that tames the violent sea.”

Administration of the Mental Finger is an exercise in self-control. It is not for the weak- willed, and can take many years of training to master. The Mental Finger is used when a Continue reading

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Things About Stuff: An Analysis

These are just random thoughts with no order or meaning. To badly paraphrase Mark Twain: “Persons attempting to find any coherence here will be shot.”

BvCX74SIcAALeKXIn the News: Jean Shaheen, Scott Brown’s main opponent in the race for the U.S. Senate race in New Hampshire, has been followed around by a man in a chicken suit for the last couple weeks on the campaign trail. Is he working for Scott Brown or the Republican party? How does one get that gig? Craigslist? Or is he a whale-belt wearing Republican under that feathered suit?

Are men necessary? Well, yes. I have nothing against men, honestly. I like men. Some of them, anyway. Not the guy who I saw riding his bike over by the Museum of Science the other day, screaming into the wind. I have a feeling we wouldn’t get along. Sometimes you just know.

But nothing. Boring.

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I will look for you. I will find you. And I will kill you.

Apropos of nothing: I’m pretty sure Liam Neeson filmed a movie in Warsaw about 8 years ago about a concerned father, and some genius producer has been rehashing it into “new movies” every year since.

 

 

I downloadwonder if maybe I’m just meant to be a loner. A rebel. A serious artist. A manifesto writer. A skeletal intellectual with the complexion of Ayn Rand and the fashion sense of a young Lotte Lenya. That’s right. I put the “mmm” in “school marm.”

I Fail At the “Girly” Things: Confessions of a Charm School Dropout

Technically, I am a straight female. Technically. And I’ve learned enough to get by, and put myself together fairly well. Children do not flee from the sight of my horrible, wizened visage, and all of the rumors about my house made of candy have simmered down at last. That said, I think there are some apparently key skills that I am simply not meant to develop. I share with you: My list of feminine fails.

Styling my hair with clips and other hair accessories.

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Please help.

I have always envied women and girls who are able to maneuver their hair into an effortless bob, chignon or ponytail without the aid of a 3-way mirror and a team of stylists. When I pull my hair up or back, something is always…off. I’m left with either a cone head, a weird bump, or I look like a grown woman who still plays with dolls.

 

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