Tag Archives: life prize

Life Prize! It Could Happen To YOU!

I found this idea in the Notes app on my phone, dated November 5. I only vaguely remember writing it. I was either drunk and in a cab orĀ falling asleep and away from my computer, so clearly I’m not really in the contention for Life Prize.

Life Prize! I spend a certain amount of time eating fruits and veggies and jogging and not drinking. I cancel cable. I apply positive psychology principles.

krispies guysAfter I pass a certain threshold, the Rice Krispies guys come alive and congratulate me. Life Prize!

It’s like Scientology: Secrets will be revealed. I’ll get to meet celebrities who’ve also achieved Life Prize. None of them are super interesting, except maybe Paul McCartney. Turns out he’s a bit of a tool.

Then I do something to fuck up my Life Prize, maybe on purpose. They have to drug me so I don’t remember that there’s a better life out there. I stare at the TV and eat Mac & Cheese with a serving spoon.