Tag Archives: weird

And when she was bad, she was HORRID

horrid

When I was about five years old, I had a book of illustrated nursery rhymes. A favorite was The Girl with the Curl :

There once was a girl, who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

And when she was bad — she was horrid.

Imagine that rhyme read by a child in a creepy sing-song whisper. Gives me chills as an adult.

But at five I found that word — Horrid — fascinating for some reason. I think in part because I was unsure how it should rhyme with “forehead” in the rhyme. But also because it had a delicious mouthfeel, a sort of woody British caramel of a word. Horrid. Horrid. Oh, that’s simply horrid. Horrid.

Here’s where my actions become less clear to me.  I made the decision to pick up a black ball-point pen and write the word “Horrid” on my pillow. This was a one-time event. The only thing I have ever written on a pillow was the word horrid. Maybe I wanted to look at the word each day when I went to bed? I don’t know. All I know is that when you scrawl a word on a pillow with a ball-point pen in a child’s handwriting, the result is terrifying, especially if the word is Horrid.

My parents must have been secretly petrified of me.

Unfiltered Brain Warblings

Sometimes I sit and brainstorm lists of ideas for subjects to write about, either for this blog or for a sketch-writing class that I’m taking. Here’s a list I put together one night last week, just before falling asleep. I honestly don’t know what many of them mean. I feel like I found someone else’s diary entry, and I’m frankly concerned for the mental health of the writer.

IMG_0427Ideas:

Murder Channel Pitch Meeting

Terrible Idea Warehouse

Group Therapy

Culture Wars, Let’s Fight it Out

Penises are Ridiculous.

Oprah Something

Escalating Expressions of love

If Fronking You is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right

Pregnancy Pact

Dic Pics are the Cure for Strep throat

Speed, in Kindergarten

Project Runway Challenge: Prisoner of Fashion (Ambush and Kidnap people off the street to make them over. You have 2 days to forcibly kidnap a “muse” from the street, then make them over using the clothes on their back.)

Catholic Martyr Mom Versus Jewish Guilt Mom: Final Smackdown

Booze: It’s What Dreams are Made of

Boobs are For Everybody

You Be Ponch, I’ll Be John

Gretchen Pornackle, Publicist to the Unknown